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PDA Resources

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PDA Resources

Pervasive Drive for Autonomy

(Pathological Demand Avoidance)

Ways you might try to offer support to someone who tends to shutdown when a request is interpreted as a demand and they are struggling to do what is asked of them:

-Turn the task into a game.

-Turn the task into a role playing story.

-Shift the task into a team effort working together with someone "Let's do it together" or "I'd love if you'd come join me and we can do this together!"

-Offer to parallel play or “body double" with them.  

-Phrase things as menus or options.  "Would you prefer to fold the laundry or put away the clean dishes?" or "Maybe I/we/you can try..." Avoid phrases that sound like demands: "You have to” "You must" "Right now!"

Additional Resources that include experience shares and tips and tricks for navigating this neurology.